Live in the Moment (Mostly)

As a writer, I reflect, sometimes too much. But I wanted to share something I’ve pondered a great deal.

We face the challenge of balancing living in the past, present, and future. We are told to learn from our experiences. We are told by parents, mentors, and others to plan for the future. We are also told to live in the moment. There are people who seem to be overly good at partially following these instructions, such as people who are trapped in the past. We’ve known people who just live in the moment and face a very uncertain future. And we’ve known the person who mainly lives in the future, seemingly denying themselves enjoyment at every turn.

I’m here to tell you, that people who overly dwell in the past, present, or future are likely either miserable or making those around them miserable (or both). You have to have a balance. After some reflection on this, I believe the balance needs to be something like this–

10% in the past. We must learn from our life experiences and be reflective enough not to repeat mistakes or bad experiences. It is also good to remember the useful hacks we have devised over our lifetimes to make our lives better. There can be a lot of pain and anxiety there if we dwell too much in the past.

60% in the present. It is the only timeframe we can immediately impact. We are somewhat in control of the present. We should seek to maximize our engagement in the present and BE PRESENT. As my writings below will share, you can’t assume there will always be a chance to do something next week, month, or year. Some of us feel guilty about surrendering to the moment. Many of us, myself included, would be well served to tamp down that guilt unless we materially impact the health, welfare, or future of ourselves or those around us. (I know, easier said than done.)

30% in the future. We can also affect the future but in a less direct way. If we can secure a better future with a modest sacrifice now, we’d be unwise not to do so. Let’s not run up the credit cards, take that fourth vacation this year, etc. In other words, some common sense sacrifices are kind of a no-brainer. There is a tension between the present and the future, and it is likely the most difficult challenge for many of us to get right. 

Sometimes though, the present and the future can work together. For instance, being low in debt is a gift to our peace of mind in the present and often a windfall for our future. Of course, foregoing that concert and eating out less or buying or renting a smaller place, feels like we are shortchanging the present. That is where our understanding of what is most important to us and our happiness comes in so if we do skimp, we are foregoing the things that matter least to us.

Okay, having said all of this, I am going to make the case for that 60%! And the case that not all of living in the present involves money. Sometimes it is time or something else, such as another person’s feelings.

I’ll illustrate the value of the 60% through a few photos and observations.

I walked by this structure on Tchoupitoulas Street very frequently for years. It was like a old friend. I found it photogenic. I even took some book promo photos there.

A few days ago as I walked by it, I found this–

All gone. It only took the demolition company a few days to erase a century of history and substantially change the fabric of the area where thousands of people live, work and socialize. My friend, the Dixie Machine Welding and Metal Works building built in 1919, was gone forever.

I had visited Steve Martin’s gallery for years. Then suddenly, he told me he was closing. I found the third floor of his gallery to be the most evocative space of the galleries in New Orleans. It was for me, something tangible that connected me to the old history of the Warehouse District before it was re-invented into what it is today. Similar to the ghost railroad tracts one still finds around the area. 

It can be a bar or restaurant you like.

Here are a few places lost in a couple of years. (Fortunately, the place on the right has reopened and is still a great place, The Will and The Way on Toulouse in the French Quarter.)

It can even be a tree. This iconic tree (for me at least) in the Central Business District is no more. It recently died.

These are just a few ways my surroundings have changed recently. The point is to give the present its due. That 60% is a lot, don’t skimp!

Give that sunrise, beach or work of art the time your present deserves. Take your time. Live in the present. Enjoy that time with friends, the taste of that wine, the smile of a child or the sounds of a rainy night. Take a breath, be present.

Remember, as Jeremy Novy’s koi fish remind us at the Ogden Museum of Southern Art, things can change so fast. Don’t “overpay” the past or the future.

______

A Moveable Marfa and The Sommières Sun are both available now. Twilight in the Quarter coming soon.